The Paper Chain

Song of Solomon 4:7 “All beautiful you are, my darling, there is no flaw in you.”

One day, a few months in from my chemotherapy treatments, I looked in the mirror and didn’t know who was looking back at me. Here was a steroid swollen face, no hair, no eyebrows or eyelashes, crusty residue on my eyelids due to effects of one of the medicines. I resembled one of the monsters in Lord of the Rings.

How can anyone love me like this? How can the Lord even look at me?

Having quite enough of the mirror, I shuffled to our living room, where my paper chain was waiting for me. My daughter and some friends fashioned it with the number of days left until my treatment was completed. On each link was written a kind word, a line from a song, a scripture verse. I looked forward to reading the message awaiting me each day. On days of weakness, my husband Gregg would tear one off and bring it to me, taking the staple out first — which to me was so sweet.

This particular day, I realized I had been behind in my tearing, and there were two links awaiting me. What I read took my breath away. One said, “You are beautiful beyond measure,” and one said, “You are beauty, strength, and grace.” My crusty eyes moistened.

I pressed these links close to my chest and made my way to the sofa to thank God that He saw beauty in me of a different kind. Not the mirror kind. Something deeper.

Maybe someone today needs to hear this too. That on your hardest day, when you barely recognize yourself — He sees you. You are seen. You are known. You are loved.